Cure 2 – Focus on what you can control
Serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Note: If you’re struggling with mental health, focus on that first
2A Accept reality. Accept what you cannot change
Let go of the past. Forgive yourself. Sometimes we need to remember to give ourselves the same level of compassion we would to those we care for
When something bad happens, know that the 5 stages of grief end in acceptance, so just try to move (or skip) to acceptance as soon as possible.
Don’t try to save or change people. Avoid the drama triangle
- Victim – The person who is treated as, or accepts the role of, a victim
- Persecutor – The person who pressures, coerces or persecutes the victim, and
- Rescuer – who intervenes, seemingly out of a desire to help the victim
Roles can be switched in future rounds, and each person may play multiple roles.
The Victim is not really as helpless as he feels, the Rescuer is not really helping, and the Persecutor does not really have a valid complaint.
When anyone (including you) starts playing one of these roles, train yourself to stop it.
2B Take (extreme) ownership. Focus on what you control, your actions and thoughts.
It’s not what happens that determines your future, it’s what you do.
For things to change for you, you’ve got to change.
Take responsibility for everything in your world.
2C Know when to quit
Cultivate persistence, nothing works the first time. It’s not how many times you fail that matters, it’s how many times you get up.
Almost everything in life worth doing is controlled by the dip. The dip is the stage when people are most likely to quit. And many times this is the right choice. Only the ones who push harder and manage to overcome the dip can accomplish their goals
Superpower – Antifragile – become stronger after setbacks
Books: Extreme ownership, The dip, Antifragile
Leo :) 