INTJ

Bookworm/nerd, rational, learner, independent, skeptical. Sometimes critical, sarcastic, arrogant.

Likes: time alone to recharge and think introspectively, intellectual discussions, building and optimizing systems (creating order out of chaos), reading/learning/researching, thinking of hypothetical futures, playing video games and board games.

Dislikes: wasting time, lies/being manipulated/betrayals of trust, emotions, ignorance, people, rules that don’t make sense, routine tasks, social niceties.

Strengths: Good (rational) problem solvers. Independent thinkers, will change opinion with new facts. High integrity (unless they have psychopath tendencies). Take criticism well and willing to work on weaknesses, if it makes sense. Self confident and hard working.

Weaknesses: Arrogant – low EQ, blind to input from other people or the impact of their actions and words. Overly critical and poor at communicating, overuse sarcasm which only has downside. Socially clueless (dismissive of feelings, small talk, etc) and don’t even know why that would be important. Combative, will not follow rules that don’t make sense, even if they’re low cost distractions. Perfectionists and never satisfied, critical of self. Imbalanced (get very good at a few things, ignoring others that are more important). Envious of people who achieve more, especially if not based on (their definition of) merit.

Work
Great problem solvers. Give proper recognition to others. Track record usually becomes so good that it can’t be ignored. Good with excel/spreadsheets, and surprised other people find it intimidating.
The ideal environment is logical, efficient, structured, and analytical, with colleagues that are competent, intelligent, and productive, being able to create efficient, innovative systems.
Effective in leadership roles (except the part about people).
Prefer to work alone or in small teams.
Give direct feedback (usually goes wrong).
Prone to burnout, expect too much from themselves for too long.
Bored quickly with repetitive tasks.
Disdain for politics, promotions not based on merit (likeability, tenure, etc).
No patience for micromanagers and time wasting (team building exercises, meetings, useless rules, too much email, gossip, slackers).
Bottom of the career ladder can be frustrating, especially if no respect for boss (see above).
Usually prefer not to have to manage other people, but will take over if no other leader steps up.
Will implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers.
Judge, criticise, are negative, and do many other bad things described in this book.
Improving at work:
Stop doing the things described in the book.
Prioritize building a productive and respectful relationship with manager, no matter how far from perfect they are.
Note that most people are different than you: either just want to be told what to do, like teamwork, don’t like plans and/or like to focus on details.
Pick your battles – sometimes you have to let the small things go so you can accomplish the big things in the long run.
Invest time in marketing their abilities and getting new abilities that help you rise up (presenting, influencing, sales, becoming more likeable).
Target roles that bring independence – good/bad career examples

Relationships
The most fundamental problem is that INTJs really want people to make sense.
Private people and poor communicators, makes them easy to misread and misunderstand.
Finding a compatible partner can be a particular challenge. Presence has to be better than being alone, which is impossible to be all the time.
INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.
Can’t help but imagine how the world could be better than it already is, which is a terrible idea in relationships.
Struggle to pick up on and respond to the emotional cues and needs of others.
Loyal but independent.
Most things are black and white, all or nothing.
Feeling that their devotion should be evident and don’t explicitly show it.
There’s always a “right way” to do things in their head. Often bad at mentioning this, or explaining why.
Stubborn, but will change mind with facts.
Probable love language is acts of service, and unlikely to be gifts (unless they’re useful)
Preference in partner for introverted, rational, and low on emotional drama.
Value depth, intelligence, and unmitigated honesty, and one who appreciates their efficacy and insight. Honesty and refusal to play games are usually detrimental, but could be a breath of fresh air for the right mate.
In stressful situations, default is to shut down (“not right now“) or to analyze the situation, rather than simply listening and offering support.
Communication is also critical. INTJs won’t pick up on your subtle cues – focus on being straight-forward or even blunt about what you expect.
Improving at relationships:
Best strategy is to focus on what you enjoy rather than struggle against the rules of dating.
Stop overthinking.
Talk to people, be genuinely interested in their lives, share some fun facts you know
Realise that becoming more attractive and more active (exercise) opens more opportunities, rather than being shallow/dumb.
Learn the love languages of the other person, make an effort to regularly provide them.
People don’t change, at least not right away, and definitely don’t want to be “improved” by your ideas.
Accept others, drop the extremely high standards of performance for you and others.
Sarcasm and witty banter are not for everyone, and not worth it – for every silly joke, 4 positive interactions are needed to make it up.
When people have problems, don’t offer a solution, just listen and offer comfort.

If dating an INTJ
DO: keep promises, be direct, be honest and be yourself (if it doesn’t work, it’s better to find out now), keep calm around them, respect their wishes, listen to what they are saying, let them have alone time, give feedback.
DON’T: lie, use mind games, betray their trust, waste their time, turn up late, get them to open up too early, get angry with them, ask them to socialize or leave the house too much, interrupt when they’re talking, surprise them, hope they will guess what you’re thinking.

Friendships – INTJs tend to be solitary and self-sufficient, so establishing friendships can sometimes be difficult. Don’t want to feel beholden to their friends, and they don’t want their friends to feel beholden to them. An ideal friendship is low drama, based on true enjoyment of each other’s company rather than obligation.
Don’t force presence on your INTJ. Don’t expect emotional comfort or attention.
Women have a particular challenge of being questioned why they can’t fit with other women, as they don’t enjoy traditional female activities like shopping in groups.

Worst case scenario – what to avoid
Become reclusive and isolated from reality, misanthropic and nihilistic.
Highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions. Cynical and argumentative.
Get angry easily and offended by what seems to be the perverse refusal of others to do the right thing—as you have defined it. [fix: step back and see that your anger alienates people so that they cannot hear many of the good things you have to say]

Improving, part 1 – fixing/compensating the weaknesses
Become more self aware, find your blind spots. This should be easy as you’re naturally reflective. This post is a starting point, but ask people who work/know you closely. Whatever they say, just say “thank you”
Realise being the way you are doesn’t make you better. High IQ, better organization, integrity, sarcasm, even if you think these make you better, stop sharing that fact
Be better at communicating. Listening, while not natural, is actually pretty easy, especially for strong introverts
Communicating what you want in a way that convinces others is extremely important. Just because it makes sense in your mind, doesn’t mean it works in reality, or in other’s minds.
Before you speak, ask: is it true? is it helpful? is it necessary? is it kind? can I say it in a better way?
Learn to relax (meditation and exercise, not drugs or alcohol). Most things aren’t life and death. The world got here without your input.
Focus on the 80/20 – this makes sense as a systems thinker, but contradicts the perfectionism. Make sure this is alive in your mind when you start to procrastinate.
It is important for you to get in touch with your feelings, particularly your unconscious impulses. Journal, get a therapist/coach, talk to a friend. Having one or two intimate friends whom you trust enough to have conflicts with will enrich your life greatly. Know that others will not condemn you for having human needs and limitations.
Learn to notice when your thinking and speculating takes you out of the immediacy of your experience. Don’t live in your head.
Seriously, stop doing things described in the book.

Improving, part 2 – enlightened INTJ
Reflect on your values and how you want to be remembered, and act in alignment.
Perfect your productivity system to achieve ‘mind like water’ and be ready for anything.
Focus on your strengths – learning quickly (read widely) and optimizing systems.
Work on multiple problems so you cross-pollinate ideas and don’t get bored.
Learn to argue against your own strong opinions – ‘the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function’.
Get good at influencing, but learn to let go of what you can’t control.
Synergise – learn to lead and use others with different skills, learn to delegate.
Alternatively, embrace your introversion and work alone.

If you like this, you’ll probably like: I N T J, personality tests, 7 habits, books

PS: I think MBTI is more useful isolating the four letters (I N T J), and only applying the ones with a strong (80%+) preference, as results vary wildly.