Just listen

Stress interferes with your ability to reach people, so get your emotions under control quickly. Strive to move from your initial reaction (“Oh F#@&”) to re-engaging (OK).
Rewire yourself to listen.
Make the other person feel “felt”.
Be more interested than interesting.
Make people feel valuable.
When all seems lost, bare your neck.

The impossibility question: “what’s something that would be impossible to do, but if you could do it, would dramatically increase your success.” After they respond, ask “what would make it possible?”
When you help spell out a person’s reasons for being negative or disagreeing, you shift them into a more positive attitude and agreeing.
Ask “do you really believe that?”: before you worry about solving someone else’s problem, find out if there really is a problem.
Instead of hiding a weakness or problem, neutralize it. Openly express the misgivings people have about you.
Keep pushing for what you want until you receive a “no.” Then get them to move from “no” to “yes” by saying something like “I either pushed too hard or failed to address something that was important to you, didn’t I?”
Power thank you when an ordinary “thanks” won’t do: 1) reference something specific the person did for you; 2) acknowledge the effort it took them; and 3) tell them the difference that his or her act personally made to you.